I agonized. I thought it all out. I spent nights, lying awake, thinking about it. Yet, I wasn’t doing anything about it.
One night, I got out of bed and decided to do something. My health-focused (read “hypochondriac”) brain had been telling me to just think about something else and drift off to sleep. If I fell asleep now, I could get 6 hours of sleep before the baby was up for the day. OK, now 5 1/2 hours. Somewhere between 5 1/2 and 5 hours of sleep before the inevitable waking up to baby stirrings, I realized that it no longer mattered. How many hours of sleep had I already lost to this? How many more was I going to lose?
I could figure out this problem. I could find the solution on my own. My recent thoughts of asking “expert” friends wasn’t getting done. I needed to just do it myself. Even if it was two hours past the time I really “should have” been sleeping.
An hour later, I had no solution, but I had more information. The journey towards a resolution was under way. It wasn’t the route I thought I was going to take, but my life rarely follows its plan.
And then it hit me.
No, my life does not follow my plans. But my life does follow my intention: to change the world. Whether through some seismic masterpiece or the tiny little decisions that I make at 3 hours past the time I should be sleeping – my life is changing the world. Why should I lose any more sleep worrying about that seismic masterpiece when those little things make just as much of an impact?
And so here I type – two hours before I should go to sleep. Just 25 minutes, I said. That’s all I need to make a difference to me today. That’s all I need to let my voice come out, just a little bit. There is so much more I would like to say, but there really isn’t more time in my day. And maybe there won’t be for the next 20 years. But why should I wait for that perfect moment or that seismic masterpiece if I can make as big of an impact with those tiny little moments every day?